Parenting class

Joe and I just had our first week of a 7 week parenting program. We just went over the introduction and first chapter and I feel like it has already been a huge help to us! Grant is a very good kid and makes parenting pretty easy, but I could tell that I was tense. I wanted to change that and learn skills that could help us channel his good behavior and make certain that his normal 1 year old behaviors don't eventually get away from us and get out of hand. 

I knew that I was tense and finally got up the nerve about a week ago to sit my parents down separately and ask them what they saw in my parenting and what I could do differently. Both said that I needed to relax. I talked to them about why I get tense when we're out of the house. I feel like with parents now, we are being watched and judged by the older generations of parents. They feel like every new parent is letting their children run them and in a lot of cases that is true. But when your child acts up in public it always seems like it's the old ppl who are watching and rolling eyes at you. No matter what you do. Even if your child is so well behaved saying please and thank you and giving kisses and laughing for over an hour at the oil change place (that they said would take 20 minutes) and the one time he crys out because his leg got stuck in the stroller which he sat without a peep for an hour in, you get stares and eye rolls like he's the worst kid and you're the worst mom ever. It's hard to go places and be judged all the time so what I was doing was over reacting. "Grant don't touch that" "don't do that" "stop" "no" "please Grant cooperate" it gets tiring following your kid around telling him things like that all the time. And I found that since he didn't know what to touch he would just finally start running a muck and touching everything and look back at me and smile. My parents told me that when he's at their house, as long as he's not hurting anything, they don't mind if he touches things which has helped me relax. I gave them permission to help me out too. If they see him doing something, they have every right to get him out of the situation. Since then I have calmed down a lot. Then at the class, in talking about Grant and my goals for the class one couple said, " you just need to relax" I thought that was crazy that someone who doesn't know me and had never known the concersations I've had with my parents lately, was able to pick that up too. So this week I have relaxed! And it is so much easier. I am less stressed and Grant is less crazy! 

In the class, the teacher taught us about what she calls "paving". It is where, when you're going somewhere (say the grocery store) on the way you tell the kids, this is what I expect from you and then if you want, put a reward in place and then they know what you expect and can handle it better. Then bring up how good they were when you're done and even while you're paving the next outing! I have done this with other's kids but should start with Grant. Even if he can't understand now doesn't mean he won't be able to later and this will be something that is just done at that point. I am excited about the things I have learned and cannot wait to learn and implement more things these coming weeks. I am grateful that they are offering this class and that we made the decision to learn more and be better parents. I wish that everyone could take this class. I think that it will be life changing in how I feel as a parent!