"God Be With You Til We Meet Again"...

This is the hardest thing I'll ever have to write.  It kills me to think about it.  If you're sensitive, please feel free to skip this one:

This morning we woke up and went to the Temple. It was the best place we could be with what we were facing. We had no word even 2 1/2 hrs after the court time so we knew it wasn't going well. Finally we got a call to go into the agency. When we got there we were told that it wasn't good and that we'd just be waiting out the time when the judge ordered her to go back to her biological family. We decided there was no way we could have her one more minute knowing what we were waiting for. So our friend who is a certified "baby boarder" offered to take her for us. We felt like we had been hit by a Mac truck. They all left upset but no one is as upset as we are. It was the hardest thing ever to leave her, but we and our family were able to have a few hrs to say goodbye. We gave her one last father's blessing before we sent her into pure chaos. We hope she has as normal of a life as anyone in that situation can have.  Every day we had with her we taught her the gospel, I read her the scriptures and sang children's hymns to her.  We taught her so many things that you don't think to teach a newborn but our hope is that one day when she hears the gospel, something will click and she'll feel a familiarity with it.  We hope more than anything that she'll remember the love we had for her and that feeling she had in our love filled home. 

Our fake smiles to hide the tears.

This was the last time we held our daughter.

 



We can't believe she's gone.  We are just so grateful to have friends and family like you all who have supported us. We know there have been hundreds of people, children included, who have been praying and doing all they can do on our and Anayah's behalf. Thank you for that. If nothing else, we have learned that there are a lot of people out there who truly love us and our little Squishy.